When do you start your new life?

Of course change is frightening. I was frightened when I found myself divorced after 42 years. Yet, it was also energizing. A whole new life waited for me and I was excited about it. You can be, too.

It is important that you have some ideas about what you like to do. What did you want to do when you grew up? That is often a good place to start. It is amazing how much those early ideas of an imaginary future can help you decide what to focus on when you find yourself with time on your hands and no partner to discourage your dreams. Think about the games you played as a child. Were they along the lines of cowboys and Indians? Did you play at working at an office? Did you imagine yourself as a ballerina? Did you love science and own a chemistry set? Did you have a sport that you later let go? Did you enjoy playing cards?

Whatever your old dreams, dust them off and see if you can find somewhere to volunteer which incorporates them. If you make a mistake, no harm done. The important thing is to go ahead and begin.

You will find unexpected joy in at least one of these. Maybe you will have several different areas into which you wish to delve. That is fine. Don’t worry if it does not jump out at you which one is going to be your dream. It may take time to decide. But you have time. Enjoy yourself as you test your ideas.

All of a sudden you will look around and realize that time has passed without regret. You will be happier every single day. This is fun.

Use it to find a new life and new friends. Pretend you are still a teenager. Imagine you are a young person whose family has moved to a new town. If that were true you would have to find a way to meet new people, new challenges. You still can. Only now you know a lot more. You will make less false moves, and you will not suffer the pangs of self consciousness that teenagers often do.

Mostly, you will find that you are establishing new habits. Your brain is being stimulated by having to try new things, discover new pathways to new destinations.

Let me know how it works out. Good luck!